Down!! again?

Feeling down 4 d whole week.. penin pala pk. mcm2 aku pk.. ape yg aku pk ek? ntah ler!! 4 one thing dok pk nk choose sapa tuk pilihan ati. either a'an or art. i feel great when i heard a'an's voice. excited borak gn a'an cz dia otak giler2 cm aku gak. weng xtentu psal. art? feel comfortable but a bit loving2 carrot cake. 'meleleh' kata org.. art dh sound nk declare couple gn aku n at d same time a'an propose me 2 be his gf. ades!! both aku suka..jus suker 2 b frenz. cz both r my frenz. feeling2?? aku belum betul2 sembuh gn rasa kecewa ats perbuatan n kebodohan sendiri. n aku lum sedia tuk stick 2 one person n leave others. its not a friendship called be.
n all of a sudden, my beloved puppy love from kindergarden/youngster called. 'choco' called from his country-s'pore. well, actually choco is my cousin. we made a deal few yrs back-when both of us still single. he likes me n i like him. we promise 2 get married when d age of 25 comes. in other words - nxt yr lor.. as said, choco n me will start saving by tis yr n will get married at end of 2008. cm bebetul? ntah!! tis few days choco start calling n ym me. saying tat he misz n love me. ibu penah kata, klu serius nk kawen gn org s'pore ''beli rumah kt johor, kja kt johor, dok kt johor, hasben adik biar kja kt s'pore. adik dok johor'' seems like ibu xbg aku tukar citizenship. n as choco decision aku kna jd singaporean as i marry him. ntah ler!!
another thing is. bout a fren yg aku respect giler tp bile dh tau perangai sebenar yg mc setan. kalah setan tanduk tiga. Nauzubillah himinzalik. mintak d'jauhkn ler sifat2 jahat dr melekat kt diri aku yg kotor lg hina nie. aku xnk menanggung beban, malu, kecewa lg hina sepanjang hidup yg belum puas aku nikmati nie.
lg down aku d'buatnye. muka n dh xlarat nk wat mimik masam. cz bile muka masam kita guna almost 60++ of our otot muka instead of we smile, we only use around 13+ otot muka. 2 psal klu org yg xbrape nk senyum muka derg cpat nmpk tua. n even old ppl who likes 2 smile they will look younger than their age. correct!! d fact is correct!! agree!!
new week coming, aku nk smile jerk. klu xde hal pun aku nk sedekahkn senyuman aku nie. walau muka xlawa, tp senyuman yg ikhlas buleh wat muka kita bersih b'seri2. aku xnk masam2 lg.wat sakit otot muka jerk. walau ape ujian yg m'dtg, aku akn hadapi dgn hati yg tenang even jiwa nie tgh kacau. InsyaAllah!! aku tau aku xkuat nk lawan dugaan yg menguji iman aku, tp aku akn cuba. aku akn mula m'bz kn diri dgn kja. biar org kata aku giler kja, janji aku xkacau org. sapa kacau aku, siap ler.. ''ko dpt bali ape yg ko dh buat kt aku, nnt ko!!'' wakaka.. sifat balas m'balas ni xptt ade lam jiwa. tp kadang2 doa sgt2 kt Tuhan supaya d'balas perbuatan yg x elok pd mereka2 yg dh wat taik kt kita. bak kata org skang, la ni Allah byr cash. klu boleh biar nmpk dpn mata. kita xdpt balas tp bila org laen akn buat kt dia cmne dia wat kt kita.
''Ya Allah, Moga aku d'jauhkn malapetaka. Moga aku d'limpahi rezeki Mu yg x t'kira. Moga aku d'pjgkn usia. Moga aku bahagia d'dunia n d'akhirat sana. Aku b'lindung pd Mu Ya Allah, hanya pd Mu aku meminta.''
dan semoga semua muslimin muslimat d luar sana d'lindungi dunia akhirat.
to all my fren. i love u all.